God Help Me! These People Are Driving Me Nuts, by Gregory K. Popcak and Never Call Them Jerks, by Arthur Paul Boers
Why don't people get angry with an oncologist or a surgeon who delivers a cancer diagnosis? Why don't law clients fly into fits of rage when an attorney fails to win their case? Why do people not jump to string up their stockbrokers when the financial markets perform feebly? People may feel such rage, but they rarely express it to these professionals. In church life, however, pastors habitually face parishioners' peculiar and angry behavior. Often these pastors don't understand what could possibly have generated such reactions. Some seasoned veterans suggest that "it goes with the turf." Others believe that anger within parishes is more intense now then ever before. What is troubling the Body of Christ? Why are so many otherwise loving and caring people expressing such anger at the church?
Experts present a throng of sociological answers. Some say that our recent social evolution has created overly high expectations for service-oriented businesses. Consumers, even in not-for-profit sectors, expect five-star treatment and have zero tolerance for either real or imaginary second-rate service. But the issue of expectations runs still deeper. Studies of children's psychoses reveal parental expectations too high for children to abide. Pastors, too, fall victim to society's unrealistic expectations.
Add to this the reality that in most churches everyone has "a say in how things are run." Whether or not parishioners possess expertise in particular tasks, many feel compelled to voice their opinions on everything from how the church nursery operates to what hymns congregations sing to the disbursement of mission money. Parishioners even feel qualified to critically evaluate preaching. Finally, ordinarily churches do not give preachers permission to ignore abnormal behavior. Nor do churches conventionally permit pastors to fight back against criticism.
