Thomas Didymus

When Mary Magdalene     said she’d seen
the Lord     it was strangely disappointing
One of the worst women     saved from the street
to have been first     I knew it must be true
that’s just what he would do     but then
when I was the only one     to fight fear
& search for myself     the others lagging behind
it was like the soldier’s spear     went right through
me too     when I returned to hear
the others bragging    (that was the worst)
that I was the only one     not to have been there
not to have seen where his hands were pierced
I went into denial     I won’t believe     I said
Anything less than my fingers in his wounds
won’t be enough     My words sounded odd
to my ears     A week later I was among
them when he appeared     & called my bluff
My Lord & my God     Conviction rolled off my tongue