Do gentle people need to toughen up?

My coworker’s daughter Emily recently graduated from preschool. Emily’s teacher told her beaming parents that day that in all her years of teaching she had never met as sweet a child. “She is an absolute angel, full of kindness toward others, always generous.” The teacher then attached a caveat: “For her own good, I will say this: you two have to toughen her up. If you don’t, she’ll get eaten alive in her [Chicago public] school.”

The parents were taken aback by the blunt warning, unsure of what they were supposed to do with such advice. Yes, bullying starts as early as kindergarten these days. Mom and Dad are well aware that many of Emily’s five-year-old classmates will come from family systems and social circumstances quite different from their own. But are they supposed to enroll her in martial arts classes? Is it time to start a neighborhood rugby team for tykes?

I know Emily. She has already established in her young life “a reputation for gentleness,” to borrow a phrase from J. B. Phillip’s translation of Philippians. I imagine that someday she’ll be the sort of driver’s education student who will brake for butterflies. I want her to find a vocation other than security officer lest she be reprimanded like the woman in Viera, Florida, who was found to be “too courteous, caring, and giving” for her courthouse security assignment.