Dear God, you can do better

A few days after having surgery for cancer, I imbibed Irreverent Prayers in great, refreshing gulps. I wept, I laughed, I felt entirely understood—and I wished I could give the book to all pastors, chaplains, health-care workers, caregivers, spouses, and friends of seriously sick people. Sympathy is easy, though not always helpful. This book provides a deep dive into empathy.

The authors are Episcopal priests who were close friends for years before each of them experienced serious illness firsthand. Elizabeth Felicetti, who died in August, was diagnosed with breast cancer and then, three months later, lung cancer. Samantha Vincent-Alexander, infected with MRSA, hovered near death for six months. Despite repeated attempts, both found praying nearly impossible. The formal prayers in the Book of Common Prayer didn’t help.

The only prayers that came close to reflecting their feelings were from the Psalms. Lament, curses, cries of abandonment—those raw emotions mirrored their own. “I thought you would appreciate my prayer this morning,” one of them texted the other. “God, I need to stay healthy because my husband shouldn’t have to deal with that bullshit.” “We should write a book full of irreverent prayers,” the other responded: “Dear God: we don’t care that you can draw out a leviathan with a fishhook—your response to Job sucks. You can do better.”