Listening with our ears, not our mouths
Twelve-step groups have a rule against crosstalk. It’s a good rule for churches, too.
“This is going to be hard for me,” said Mary, an energetic member of the congregation who had asked me to assist in a project described as “taking the pulse of our church” and “planning for the next chapter of our life.” Though I had known Mary for less than an hour, I was inclined to agree. She was clearly an extrovert and a bright person who thrived on a rapid-fire exchange of thoughts and ideas.
What Mary figured would be tough was following the “no cross talk” guideline I had proposed as the modus operandi.
“No cross talk” is a standard practice in 12-step or recovery groups. It works like this: when a person in the group talks about his or her recovery, or the temptations faced or the hope and healing found, others in the group do not address the person directly or comment on what’s been said. Only the person who has the floor speaks (within an agreed-upon time limit). Others listen.
