The call goes on: Dicipleship and aging

On New Year's Day my father celebrated his 88th birthday. Later this year, Mom will make a birthday wish for the 87th time. Along with my sisters and brothers, I have witnessed their decline, worried about their frailty and fretted about their future. I have also been inspired by them, given thanks for them and been continually blessed by them, perhaps especially in these latter years of their lives.

Like all of the elderly, my parents are no strangers to the onslaught of diminishments that remind us that we are creatures, mortal beings who, no matter how feverishly we try to escape it, have an unbreakable date with death. They struggle with their loss of independence and increasing vulnerability. They're frustrated that they cannot do what they could do before and lament that once simple tasks can be maddeningly difficult. They've resigned themselves to the unwelcome companionship of aches and pains, and they scan the obituaries to see which friend's funeral they will next be attending. And they have certainly learned that patience, gratitude, prayer and humor are stalwart vanguards against the pitfalls of bitterness, resentment, negativity and an easily wounded pride.

My parents exemplify what it means to age well because they never saw growing old as something to begrudge. That's because even though they have had to relinquish many things as the years rolled on, they've never relinquished the sense of themselves as being called, as being summoned to find new opportunities to love God and neighbor. Baptism initiates Christians into a magnanimous adventure in which we are called to imitate Christ by growing in goodness, generosity, service and love. Even though what this might mean changes as we move through different stages of our lives, we are never not called to bring Christ to life for others. We trivialize the elderly and aging if we assume that elderly persons are no longer moral subjects called to do good in the world, called to make a contribution by being a gift for others. Thus, despite what our society often suggests, retirement and old age are not principally a time of leisure, freedom and well-earned self-absorption, but a distinct stage in a life of discipleship in which we continue to be called to live for others.