Lowering the volume

Here’s a reality show I would like to see. Take 20 Presbyterians, Episcopalians and Methodists and leave them on a tropical island with these three: the recently resigned governor of Illinois, a United Church of Christ parliamentarian and David Letterman. The contest would be to see if they could (a) become excellent ballroom dancers and (b) resolve the issue of human sexuality before getting thrown off the island by a jury of former child stars judging the show from rehab.

If the contestants were successful, each denomination would receive a visit from Donald Trump to advise them on best practices from the business world that can be applied to the church. And if they were unsuccessful, they would be forced to attend all of one another’s national gatherings in perpetuity.

Now that’s raising the stakes.


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