I’ve been keeping my eye on a cultural trend: love of family is fast becoming an idolatry. My observation is based more on hunch than on scientific research, but nevertheless there are signs that devotion to family is in some quarters a religion in its own right, with family the object of ultimate allegiance.
The self-enclosed or ingrown nature of many families—where all dreams and expectations are wrapped up in family togetherness—means that one’s absence from a family activity is perceived as serious insult. Miss the nephew’s soccer game, skip a cousin’s birthday party, pass on watching Sunday Night Football together with the extended family, and you’ve essentially broken ranks. You’ve disrespected the tightness of the family bond.
Family affection and togetherness is lovely. A healthy family system is where we learn unconditional love. It’s an ideal laboratory for navigating relationships and learning where we fit and how we express ourselves. But the object of parenting should be to raise kids who don’t just serve the family but who move beyond it.
